HOUSTON CONCERT-MOTLEY CRÜE IS "CRÜE-L" AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT
MOTLEY CRÜE...the Houston concert with the original band members.
The members were / are:
Nikki Sixx, Vince Neil, Mick Mars and Tommy Lee
My review.
March 24,2006
Those aware of my anti-RIAA band status, would be surprised to find I went to the Motley Crue concert in Houston on 24 March 2006. The reason I went was that my wife, for whatever reason, is a Crue fan (not fanatically so, but a fan). She got tickets for the Houston show last year, but Hurricane Rita washed that one away, so it was rescheduled.
So, we drove from Austin to Houston, and due to various intervening events, got to the venue at 9:30, an hour after the band hit the stage. The place was packed, and there was a lot of smoke, coming from the smoke machines to add "effect", from the band members smoking, and audience smoking. As a non-smoker, this was already a "treat", right?
We could hear them finishing GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS from the outside as we were trying to get in. We had floor seats, but the place was packed and we ended up in the stadium seating. So, that was complain number one. The idiot usher insisted on seating us in the first four seats near the aisle she was located (there were three ladies with me).
The first scene of the "concert" was a scantily clan female in a red , vinyl appearing bikini with a hat on, getting pseudo humped from behind and fondled from in front. Oh yeah, did I mention the dwarfs? Yeah, they were using dwarves as comedy, and in an S and M type skit, had the female hitting the dwarf.
Yeah, real musicianship, right?
The venue was the TOYOTA center in Houston. 'Nuff said on the venue.
So, to continue our review, we had thankfully been spared the first hour, but I sat there just waiting for the band to say goodnight. Unluckily, I would be subjected to another hour of this crap.
There were two large screens, one on either side of the stage. The screens appeared to be of poor quality...exceptionally poor quality, and the images were not very imaginative. A giant eye crying a single tear, lips, and some kind of artsy fartsy dissolve of images that, owing to the poor screen quality, never quite told you what they hell they were.
Now, I am a rock fan. I liked KISS's farewell tour date in Austin (farewell number one) and have, thanks to my wife's love of '80s hair bands, seen most of that genre.
In the past, we've seen a LOT of bands such as Whitesnake, Dokken, Winger, SCORPIONS,
NIN (nine inch nails), David Bowie, Def Leppard, ZZ Top, Lynnard Skynard , Quiet Riot, Poison, Cinderella,Faster Pussycat, Great White,Skid Row, Slaughter, White Lion, and many more. So, I am not a concert newbie.
The concert I saw from Motley Crue was the worst concert I've ever seen.
The stage setting was setup as if it were a carnival or a sideshow, and I must admit, THAT would be the proper venue, and not the TOYOTA center.
Early on, it was clear that the band has an unhealthy love of the F word in all its incarnations. It was "F" this, MotherF'er, "you F'ers" (I am omitting the "uck" , though they did not).
Vince Neil was decidely unremarkable in appearance. He is fat and his attempt to look "cool" was a dismal failure. His beer belly was in start contrast with the rest of the group who LOOKED like street crack addicts. They were extremely thin, for them, black was the color of the day.
Apparently, the "CRUE" thinks that if you put enough almost nude women on stage doing suggestive things, and simulating both fellatio and intercourse, that THAT constitutes entertainment. Well, I didn't go to see a Titty show, I went to see a rock show. Alice Cooper ,Bowie, and the Stones, KNOW how to put on an entertaining rock SHOW (as opposing to just having a band play their hits like a live juke box).
The audience was treated to seeing girls swing on ropes, swing on giant rings, shoot fireworks out of their asses, and from their sternum (as if they were shooting fireworks from their breasts)...and there was one time where two girls, dressed as nurses with mini skirts and big red crosses on their costume, with nurse caps (which nurses no longer wear anyway) giving Neil a simulated blowjob.
Then, of course, you had the audience cam. The camera scanned the audience for attractive young females, trying to pressure them to pull up (or down) their tops and show their breasts. Suprisingly, many did, but when they came across one that didn't, Neil was a bit derisive, and I think at one point, saying "you suck" or something like that, to a girl that refused.
The "breast show" was projected onto the already mentioned overhead screens.
Now, out of the many people at the event, I was the only one who remained seated most of the time. At one point, Neil was almost making fun of Bon Jovi, and when he wanted people to sit down, said if people remained standing, they were Bon Jovi fans. In what I thought was a moment of courage, one couple (a guy and a girl), who had sit down as Vince requested, stood up to say "Hell yes, we're Bon Jovi fans).
He also had everyone jumping up and down and hollering.
Excuse me, but when I pay to see a performance, I think I shouldn't have to be told by the performer what the F to do. I pay to see the monkey dance, HE dances, not ME.
Needless to say, I didn't jump up and down on command like the other attendees did.
The high point was when the drummer, Tommy Lee (of the Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson sex tape fame), came down from the stage, surrounded by several bodyguards, ran to the back of the forum, talking all the way, and got strapped to a flying harness, and ascended up to one of two suspended platformsm, each having a percussion piece setup,and he drummed on one, then went to the other (using the flying harness setup), and finally, while lights dimmed and a big explosion, descended back to the floor and made his way back to the stage.
The sound was horrible. I don't call it "music", instead, it was "noise" (unwanted sounds). I was sitting there, trapped because I came in a friends vehicle. But, since I was there, I took the opportunity to watch this fiasco so I could write the review.
The whole thing was a mess. They had a honeycomb of speakers as if just sheer volume would make the sloppy guitar playing sound good. Tommy Lee did a workmanlike job on percussion. Actually, of all the band, he was probably the best (like saying that someone is the tallest pygmy in the village, that's not saying much).
Near the end, they tried all the gimmicks they could...fireworks, flame pots, women fire breathing, Mick Mars, who looked very ill, busted up the guitar he was playing on purpose. I have always hated senseless destruction of good musical instruments, dating back to when the drummer for the WHO did it. It is stupid. And, when you just toss and electric guitar into the air like he did and let it land wherever, it puts people near the stage at risk.
So, my review is this. The group MOTLEY CRÜE , like a boxer that is past his prime, are not a pretty band to watch fizzle out. Their tour dates are found at
http://www.concertgroove.com/..., and apparently, Jackson MS is where they went after Houston. I pity those in Jackson MS. Their show should have been an embarrassment to the band.
It was loud, distorted by speakers, and ill performed.
Now, to be fair, it seemed like I was probably the only one who hated this show.
At one point, the band (i.e. Vince Neil) urged everyone to light the place up, and many people complied with cell phones, lighters, etc. Of course, this is about as hackneyed as people listening to Freebird. Not original Neil, but good try.
Positive statements...well both Vince Neil and Tommy Lee tried to work the crowd and get them involved. Nikki Six and Mars seemed not to give a sh*t.
And, hey, if the band doesn't give a sh*t, why should fans, right?
I got up and left while people were waiting for the encore. I told my wife "I've had enough of this sh*t." I should have done that earlier, but there was no where to go.
I felt like I was at some strip club. At one point, a "fan" in front of me, one row down, when they were doing one of their simulated sex acts, hollered out toward the stage saying "Suck her titties." Good Lord people. Is this what people think a rock show is nowadays?
If I had wanted to see a strip club, I would have gone to one.
MOTLEY CRÜE has the same syndrome that a lot of rap groups like 50 cent has. Put buxom, scantily clad women on stage and have them shake their tits and ass, and people will like it.
I guess that's their way of dealing with not being able to sing or play well.
There's an old saying in law school...when you have the law on your side, argue the law. When you have the facts on your side, argue the facts. When you have neither the law nor the facts, talk loud and bang on the table.
Well, updating this to rock shows, we have the following. When you have great lyrics, emphasize the singer. When you have great melodies, emphasize the instrumentals. When you have neither, bring on the dancing girls and fireworks.
Plenty of girls and fireworks last night.
MOTLEY CRÜE concerts...just say NO.
~Code
"So it goes." - Kurt Vonnegut
